


Hands

by CHRISpyCHEESus



Series: Sad Cat Diaries [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chan had no idea, Comfort, Gen, Jisung has nightmares, Nightmares, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 05:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21010679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHRISpyCHEESus/pseuds/CHRISpyCHEESus
Summary: Jisung has nightmares but hasn't told Chan. While on tour they share a room and Chan wakes up at one in the morning to see Jisung panicking in his sleep.





	Hands

Jisungs breath caught. His panic spread through him fast and unrelenting. It didn't take long for his muscles to contract on their own, his breath stuttered in short gasps. He had no control of his actions as his mind trapped him in another nightmare. 

Chan reached over to try to relax him, not knowing that his touch felt like a hot iron on Jisung’s skin. Jisung subconsciously tried to pull away but couldn't remove the feeling of a hand on him before the touch traveled into his nightmare. Everything changes when someone touches him during these times. Instead of just the feeling of unease and darkness, a simple hand on his arm would give his mind an opportunity to create a monster to work against him.

Out of nowhere a faceless man reached out and grabbed him, holding him gently and pressing himself into Jisung. He flinched away from the unwanted touch, the hands feeling slimy against his skin. He felt his stomach lurch as a hand traveled to the waistband of his jeans, sliding under his shirt and across his belly, the other tightening on his upper arm. He wanted to scream, too push the hands off of him and run, but he was paralyzed. He could only curl in on himself in the real world his breaths coming faster as he started to hyperventilate, but that didn't help him here in the nightmare. This always happened when someone tried to comfort him in this state. 

This wasn't the first time this dream held him, hands pressed on his skin; an unwanted touch. They weren't rough or harsh; they were always gentle and seemingly unmoving. Somehow that was worse. Jisung would rather it be a harsh touch. Instead, the soft touch mentally scarred him, causing him to dislike the feeling of gentle hands altogether. The few times he could move in these nightmares he tried to pull the hands away but to no avail. They turned to stone the second he grabbed them causing his panic to double at the thought of never escaping the grip. The hands slid across his skin and he felt the man lean in close pressing himself against his back….

Jisung shot straight up in bed, his hands at his throat, gasping for air. He pulled his knees up to his chest and let his head fall between them, trying to slow his breathing. 

"Sungie, what's happening? Are you okay?"

Chan's voice sounded scared and far away as he rubbed Jisung's back. He had leaned forward to try and look Jisung in the eye, but Jisung’s eyes were slammed shut, focused on getting his breathing back to normal. His whole body was shaking and it took all of his strength to hold himself up.

"Stop touching me." He uttered harshly, pulling his knees tighter to himself. Chan's hand dropped from his back. 

"I'm sorry but, are you okay? You're worrying me."

"Stop talking. Let me breath." He gasped for more air with each word.

Jisung hated this. He hated how he was being short with Chan but he couldn't talk right now or he'd fall back into the nightmare. He just needed to breath then he'd be fine. He focused harder on his breathing and after three more deep breaths his body finally accepted he wasn't in danger and relaxed, all the strength he had left him. Every nightmare was exhausting. He let himself collapse back onto the bed and continued to breath deeply. Chan was still sitting next to him, his eyes wide and filled with worry. 

"I'm fine. I’m sorry, it was just a nightmare. It's gone now so don't worry and go back to bed." 

"That wasn't just a nightmare Sungie. How often does that happen?"

"Not often. Usually when I am in unfamiliar places or when I think I'm not safe."

"So when we travel for performances does this happen?"

"Not every time, but yes, sometimes this happens during tours." Jisung glanced at Chan to see his reaction.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Chan asked looking hurt.

"I usually room with Minho or Hyunjin when we travel and they know so I thought it didn't matter if anyone else knew. It honestly doesn't happen that often."

Chan starred Jisung down with concerned eyes as he thought to himself. He sighed, and with a single nod he went to his own bed. Jisung sat back up in his bed, his hands gripping the hem of his sheets.

"Um… Chan, can I….”

“What is it Sungie?” Chan looked back as he crawled onto his own bed.

"Actually can I lay with you for a bit? I'm sorry I was short with you earlier. My nightmares tend to linger and touch makes it worse, but I'm fully out of it now and I really don't want to fall back into it." Jisung looked down at his hands as he spoke. He didn’t realize how small he felt until Chan left his side. He felt so open and unprotected, like the hands could reach out from every direction and take him.

"So, I see you thrashing about, basically having a panic attack while you sleep, and I'm supposed to not touch you until you okay it and then lay with you?" Chan said. There was no malice in his voice, Jisung could tell he was just trying to understand. He looked so tired, hair sticking up all over the place, eyes starting to droop back into sleep as he slid under his covers.

Jisung nodded.

"Basically, any touch I feel while having a nightmare gets pulled into the nightmare and after I finally wake up my brain is still adjusting to what is real and what was the dream and sometimes my mind tricks me and I am not actually awake but still in the nightmare when I think I have woken up causing me to panic and wake up again but I'm so unsure if I am actually awake or not.... See, my mind pulls parts of the nightmare back to reality with me and… it's hard to shake the nightmare stuff when someone is touching me. It actually makes the nightmare feel more real in a way." Jisung said as he dug his nails into the sheets, the arm the hand in the nightmare held twitched as Jisung remembered the feel of the slimy touch against his skin so clearly he wouldn't be surprised to see the hand still there if he looked.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault; I didn't tell you about it because I thought my brain would know it was safe with you here. I don't know why I didn't… I’m the one who’s sorry."

"Just talk to me about this type of stuff so we can be there to help when you need it. And yes, you're more than welcome to sleep with me if it helps, I really don't mind."

Jisung crawled out of his bed and into Chan's. Chan clicked off the light and they settled in easily, laying close but not really touching. Chan didn't want to send Jisung back into the nightmare.

"Can I hold your hand?" Jisung asked, his voice tiny.

Chan reached over under the sheets and let Jisung lace his fingers in his.

"Thank you Channie."

"Get some sleep Jisung, we have a long day tomorrow."

**Author's Note:**

> This could technically fall under night terrors but I added some things that are not textbook night terrors so regular old nightmares it is. 
> 
> If anyone has night terrors I feel you. I am sorry you have to go through that and I hope they pass quickly. <3


End file.
